Sunday, January 29, 2006

ninety-fat



many of you know of the anguish i have been experiencing lately over my recent increase in girth.

things have taken a similar turn for my cat.

frenchy (aliases: miles, licky, westerly, francois) moved in with my parents about 2 years ago, so that he could spend some of his life not living in a tiny apartment and so that he could have a yard to play in. also my parents are shameless cat-spoilers, whereas, although i love him dearly, i tended to treat the frenchman more or less like furniture.

he was always a small cat, having been abandoned as a kitten, and even full grown he weighed in at about 6 pounds.

of late, frenchy has more than doubled in weight. he looks like he ate himself. frenchy is the marlon brando of cats.

according to my mother, he eats ceaselessly (now, i have seen her FEED HIM FROM THE TABLE, but we won't stoop to the blame game here), and because of his obesity he has developed sleep apnea and now snores as well. my mother has started taking him on car trips with her because it's the only way to keep him away from the food bowl.

finally, she has decided to seek medical intervention. and frenchy, it seems, may need to go away for a while. we'll find out tomorrow.

(the above picture is from frenchy's pre-brando days; i couldn't bear to humiliate him by posting a recent photo)

7 Comments:

Anonymous Tiffany Leigh said...

Is there a feline South Beach Diet?

8:03 AM  
Blogger kfd313 said...

just ply him w/ red wine and cigarettes. He's french for god's sake!

12:54 PM  
Blogger sarah said...

are you suggesting that my cat SMOKE HIMSELF SKINNY? i'll mention it to him.

1:10 PM  
Blogger kfd313 said...

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. In my forthcoming book "Smoke Yourself Skinny: the Diet Breakthrough or, "What Your Doctor Doesn't Want You to Know: Cigarettes Cause Skinniness" (funding by RJ Reynolds), there'll be a chapter on housepets.

4:56 PM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! ;)
hey... what sick news!
what do U think about it?

6:24 PM  

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