furniture-phobe

it is time for me to really examine my feelings about furniture. for many years, i had legitimate phobias. i was scared to death of throwing up. i used to hyperventilate and pass out if i saw a rat, or a rat on tv, or a photograph of a rat. or a child's drawing of a rat. and then for years i was terrified of flying. i worked through these phobias to the extent that they are managable. i was proud of myself.
and now i have a new phobia, which i have only recently realized truly qualifies as an irrational fear. i am now scared of.... furniture !?!
i think it all started with the easy chair. all i needed was a place to sit. i went to furniture stores, walked around sweating, pupils dilated, likely resembling a devoted meth-head trying to replace the couch i incinerated. all the furniture was hideous. the thought of it in the space where i live made me feel trapped. for any of you out there with anxiety issues, you know that trapped is not a good starting point. plus, if i were to put any furniture in my apartment that couldn't be easily disassembled and packed, flat, into the back of my car, i might have to (gasp) stay here. my habit of serial moving allows me to justify ridding myself of all manner of junk as frequently as i wish so that i may live as clutter-free as any self-respecting low grade OCD sufferer with a fear of knick-knacks should.
anyway. i have learned from my years of various phobias that they are best defeated by being faced. so yesterday i ventured into "Design Within Reach" in birmingham. i had seen their stuff before, and found it fairly inoffensive, so i figured it would be a good place to start. and, voila! it didn't make me want to puke! i felt pretty calm, not like the furniture was assaulting me. there were beds, chairs, even couches that i could live with! i felt fairly confident. i spied a nice, innocuous chair and went over to look.
it was at this point that "design within reach" began to beg the question: within WHOSE reach? granted, i was in birmingham, but still. even if i actually MADE a living, that shit was expensive. which is fine for an expensive furniture store. but given that this store was conceived upon the basis of being "within reach," it just didn't add up. now i know how most of america feels when told that something is "affordable." it's not that i had lived a blissfully priviledged lifestyle before yesterday, it's just that, well, i've never really BOUGHT anything before. cars, sure. computers, yes. but those things are SUPPOSED to cost money.
i retreat back into furniture phobia feeling somehow.... vindicated. relieved. design is clearly not within my reach. so for right now, i don't have to worry about it.