what men really think about dating
some of you may know that one of my greatest pleasures in life is trashy magazines. no offense to these magazines is intended, since what i mean by "trashy" includes everything from the Enquirer to the New Yorker. basically, anything that's not a scholarly journal. and i love them all.
yesterday, i read this in "Marie-Claire," part of a feature about what men really think about dating and sex. it's hilarious:
"I have my first date with Vicki, whom I met online. I see dating as a necessary evil, but it helps you learn about yourself, so I do it. My goal is to find someone intelligent, classy, funny, and sexy as hell. So I'm pleased when I meet Vicki, because it turns out she's really hot. I take her to Red Lobster. When our food comes, things get interesting; Vicki doesn't hold her fork and knife right when she eats. The fact that I have to teach her how to use utensils completely turns me off. Call me a snob or bourgeios, but I can't be with someone who has no concept of dining etiquette. I won't be calling her again." -- Jovaughn, 23, "model."
First of all, Jovaughn: wow. are you EVER a douchebag.
you took Vicki to Red Lobster and then denigrated her for not having good manners !?! she probably got the impression that since you were taking her to Red Lobster, she didn't NEED to use her manners.
but moreover: as soon as you take a woman to Red Lobster on a first date, you forfeit the right of first refusal. my guess is that she was TRYING to put you off so as to avaoid the whole awkward climbing-out-the-bathroom-window thing. so don't worry about calling her again; she probably changed her number. in fact, you're lucky she didn't punch you.
call me a snob or bourgeois (which i am guessing you'd actually take as a compliment), but i would never "be with someone" who took me to Red Lobster on our first date.
ladies, discuss.
yesterday, i read this in "Marie-Claire," part of a feature about what men really think about dating and sex. it's hilarious:
"I have my first date with Vicki, whom I met online. I see dating as a necessary evil, but it helps you learn about yourself, so I do it. My goal is to find someone intelligent, classy, funny, and sexy as hell. So I'm pleased when I meet Vicki, because it turns out she's really hot. I take her to Red Lobster. When our food comes, things get interesting; Vicki doesn't hold her fork and knife right when she eats. The fact that I have to teach her how to use utensils completely turns me off. Call me a snob or bourgeios, but I can't be with someone who has no concept of dining etiquette. I won't be calling her again." -- Jovaughn, 23, "model."
First of all, Jovaughn: wow. are you EVER a douchebag.
you took Vicki to Red Lobster and then denigrated her for not having good manners !?! she probably got the impression that since you were taking her to Red Lobster, she didn't NEED to use her manners.
but moreover: as soon as you take a woman to Red Lobster on a first date, you forfeit the right of first refusal. my guess is that she was TRYING to put you off so as to avaoid the whole awkward climbing-out-the-bathroom-window thing. so don't worry about calling her again; she probably changed her number. in fact, you're lucky she didn't punch you.
call me a snob or bourgeois (which i am guessing you'd actually take as a compliment), but i would never "be with someone" who took me to Red Lobster on our first date.
ladies, discuss.
114 Comments:
complaining about the way someone holds their fork and knife is obnoxious no matter where you are.
And for real, order the f-ing lobster, honey. If ya can't hold a fork, just use the excuse to use your hands. (not that I'm down with Jovaughn's etiquitte 101 lesson, either. Seriously, man. Douchebag^2) This is even more funny 'cause I waited tables at The Lob to support me through undergrad--a totally unclassy joint and many, many jokes of a first date. There was even a marriage proposal at one of my tables. Just gross.
You know, for some reason, I'm suspicious of this whole story. It just sounds made up. Like what kind of guy takes someone to Red Lobster and has etiquette issues that would prevent hm from liking some chick he thinks is hot? No way.
True that. If he was so obsessed with 'sexy as hell Vicky,' then the fork thang would have been out the window, hands down. Seriously, has a second date ever been decided because of fork holding? And nev-ah, *nev-ah* is The Lob acceptable...and that's coming from a poor (starving, snobbish, pesudo-bourgeois) grad student...
That Jovaughn is a real dream boat. Back when *I* was in grad school, a smoove operator tried to seduce me on our first date with the following "home-cooked" meal.
-Rice-a-roni (chicken flavor)
-Frozen mixed vegetables (freezer burned no butter)
-VERY VERY dry roasted chicken (one leg/thigh per person...didn't he know I like white meat)
and...
freshly decanted Lancers wine (that's right I said Lancers)
you bet I ate like a pig and belched like a drunken sailor
strange...this conversation is making me hungry and horny...
i need to get some fish
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