Tuesday, May 16, 2006

hey now

So, you know, I have always thought that my blog just wasn't self-centered enough. Like I need, maybe, more about me and less about who the fuck cares on this blog.

I am, of course, joking. I already talk exclusively about myself on this blog and I find that I only want to talk about myself MORE. And since I will never be famous enough to take the Proust questionnaire in the back of *Vanity Fair,* I'm going to take this one from *Jacket* instead and treat myself to a bit of a Warhol. I'm not sure if the questionnaire was intended for taking, but that very confusion signals a metacritical moment that I cannot help but take part in.

The original questionnaire can be found here:

http://jacketmagazine.com/28/berkson-q.html

I encourage you to treat yourself right and indulge.

Sophie Calle and Grégoire Bouillier

Questionnaire

Translation by Bill Berkson
then answered by Harry Mathews,
then answered by Andrei Codrescu,
with thanks to Constance Lewallen and Harry Mathews, and with a brief note on Proust.


When did you last die?
-- With each and every bad first date.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?
-- The promise of coffee. Today, a very vocal cat.

What became of your childhood dreams?
-- They moved to the suburbs and bought a Range Rover.

What sets you apart from from everyone else?
-- Precisely nothing.

What is missing from your life?
-- A stainless steel Bodum French press pot.

Do you think that everyone can be an artist?
-- Sure.

Where do you come from?
-- Maine.

Do you find your lot an enviable one?
-- Obviously, since I really only want for a coffee pot.

What have you given up?
-- Giving things up.

What do you do with your money?
-- My what?

What household task gives you the most trouble?
-- Putting things away: laundry, clean dishes, silverware. I can clean these things but I can't bring myself to put them away.

What are your favorite pleasures?
-- Magazines, cooking, wine, cupcakes, squeezing.

What would you like to receive for your birthday?
-- A stainless steel Bodum French Press pot.

Cite three living artists whom you detest.
-- No way. Unless they are, in fact, dead, there's always a chance that they'll end up on the search committee I'm interviewing with.

What do you stick up for?
-- Babies. Worth noting: not the same thing as "fetuses."

What are you capable of refusing?
-- Not much. For now, marriage.

What is the most fragile part of your body?
-- 3 way tie: the skin on my chest, my self-confidence, and my poor teeth.

What has love made you capable of doing?
-- Getting from Michigan to Maine in a terrible blizzard; Jager shots; forgetting myself in ways both bad and good.

What do other people reproach you for?
-- My taste in men; my spending habits; inability to stick up for myself; inability NOT to stick up for myself.

What does art do for you?
-- Makes me poor.

Write your epitaph.
-- "It wasn't THAT bad."

In what form would you like to return?
-- As Ben Harper's guitar.

YOUR turn.

7 Comments:

Anonymous kate smith said...

Further proof that we were meant for each other. I happen to have an extra stainless steel Bodum french press kicking around. We never use it and I should really be contributing more to your education. After all, you are going to support me through my old age. Where should I send it?

2:14 PM  
Blogger sarah ruddy said...

1703 D. Catalpa Drive
Royal Oak, MI. 48067

you have answered my prayers.

4:53 PM  
Blogger sarah ruddy said...

but CAN you get me Ben Harper?

5:01 PM  
Blogger Ray said...

Questionaires are fun. That was a good one.

:)

8:05 PM  
Blogger Kim Lacey said...

I passed this questionaire along to my students--they're writing personal narratives and totally diggin' these questions. Hopefully the results will be as enjoyable...

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very pretty design! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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2:22 AM  

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