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more from the continuing accident that is my life....

All I Really Wanted Was Indian Food

But thanks to a water main break at American Masala, the next thing I knew I was at a sushi restaurant in the suburbs.

I ordered a lot of sushi, thinking that, if I didn't finish it, I'd take it home and eat it later. The waitress asked me if I would really be able to finish it all, and when I assured her that I could handle it, she replied "OK. That's good, the baby needs it."

For a second I looked around for "the baby." Then I realized what she meant.

This was one of the first points of etiquette that I remember my mother teaching me. One day in 1980, when I was 5, my mother and I were headed over to "Holly's Hair Barn" to get our hair done. I remember we were getting Princess Di cuts. In the car, my mother said to me: "I think Holly might be expecting, but I'm not sure. I don't want to ask her, because if it's just that she's gained weight, it will be really embarassing. You should never say that a woman is pregnant unless you are sure, because she may just be fat, and that's rude." Holly was, in fact, expecting, and the Hair Barn closed shortly thereafter.

Let me repeat : You should never say that a woman is pregnant unless you are sure, because she may just be fat, and that's rude.

If a 5-year-old knows this, shouldn't everyone ? At any rate, I tipped her well, by 1980 standards.