Monday, March 06, 2006

tales from high maintenance

yes, friends. even in the world of grad school there is still room for vanity.

some highlights from my recent adventures in grooming (which, sadly, did not include highlights):

- never purchase new bath products when you have a cold. you cannot smell anything when you have a cold. three days later, you might realize that your new shampoo smells like Nair. i'm just saying, is all.

- eyebrow waxing was cut in my recent budget revisions. it seemed a small sacrifice until i woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and SAW my eyebrows. which needed to be combed. time to start rolling those pennies.

- last night, my skinny friend Trish informed me that we would be spending a lot of time at the pool this summer. de-lightful! but here's the rub: Trish is 7 months pregnant, which means that she will be delivering right before bathing-suit season. the possibility (okay, probability) that i will be sitting at the pool next to a woman who has recently given birth AND who looks better in a bathing suit than i do is, well, frankly distressing.

it is now officially time to get my slug-ass in gear. i have so many limitations when it comes to exercising that i have had to think really hard to find something that i can do. for one thing, i'm clumsy. so nothing that requires balance. also, i have zero patience or endurance, so no jogging. i think sneakers are really uncomfortable. whatever it is, i have to be able to study while i am doing it; it needs to be cheap; it can't take up a lot of space; it must be done at home. so no gym, no treadmill, no exercise bike, no bow-flex, no nordic-trac. and did i mention that i'm totally lazy?

ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you: the medicine ball. it's round. it's soft. it's unlikely that i can hurt myself with it. it weighs six pounds. it costs $7.99. and i can roll a ball as well as any 2-year-old.

stay tuned for tomorrow, when i will surely be complaining about the medicine-ball-related injury that i have somehow sustained.


Anonymous Melanie Morrill said...

Ruddy! I found you! I apologize: I am a horrible correspondent.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that you can get hurt with a medicine ball. I know. I have one. And I have been hurt... By the medicine ball.

Also, in regards to the sushi waitress incident: Aren't pregnant women supposed to limit their intake of sushi? So not only was this waitress rude, she was also stupid.

Whenever I write the word stupid, I feel like I am momentarily transported back to my adolescence. It's such an obnoxious sounding word .... but so useful.



4:22 PM  

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