Sunday, October 16, 2005

i hope she has a back-up plan

i read today on yahoo "news" that mary-kate olsen has dropped out of college.

like this is news. the olsen twins are, like, billionaires. what was she going to do with the degree, exactly?

now i am an academic. far be it from me to encourage young people NOT to go to college. more kids in college = more jobs for me. but if i had olsen-twin-kind-of-money, i could actually go do the things college would teach me about.

here's a partial list of suggestions i'd offer to little mary-kate.

- cooking lessons. with alain ducasse.
- learn to speak, in this order: french, romanian, icelandic, arabic.
- two words: punk rock.
- how many people actually get to see mt everest, victoria falls, or patagonia?
- and make sure you take pictures of everything. then:
- write a book, which is what most of us would do if we didn't have to pay the bills. just don't write poetry. you're no jewel.
- see all those people in various parts of the world who are skinnier than you? they wish they weren't. help them.
- chateau. vineyard. garden. rhone valley.
- read up on the 50s, 60s, 70s. rich people used to be so much more interesting.
- greek shipping heirs: who needs 'em?

projecting? me? no way. i LIKE ramen noodles and wine from a box.


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