seasons greetings

every year i forget that as soon as halloween is over, christmas miraculously arrives in the U.S. and so every year i am shocked to discover that, according to the american calendar, christmas is, like, soon. if i were a better left-feminist-liberal-academic, this would provide me with a great opportunity to consider how the implication that Mary herself labored for 2 whole months, all cucifixion-like, to birth Jesus is really a patriarchal construction to guilt us into consuming more. an intriguing theory, no doubt.

instead, i take this opportunity to revise my christmas card list.

on my christmas card list:

Anderson Cooper
Trader Joe
Deleuze (and Guattari)
George Eliot
owner of "Party Basket" on Woodward and 11 1/2
yvonneconstance
joelsin
flickerfit
justinp
Jean Gray
Michael Berube
Timbaland
the creators of "Wife-Swap"
Leo Bersani
David Sedaris
Anthony Bourdain
James Frey
people who give me upgrades
Ray Nagin
Charles Shaw
Elizabeth Grosz
her friend Nicole
the people behind James jeans
Oprah

off my christmas card list:

supermodels
Michael Stars (one size does NOT fit most, asshole)
Target
Wal-Mart
Heidegger (for good this time, Martin)
Gus Van Sant
Volkswagen(you lost me at the "new" Jetta)
person who put the ding in my driver's side door
Death Cab for Cutie
most of my ex-boyfriends (sorry, gentlemen: no more mr. nice guy)
Coldplay
and your wife, Chris Martin
Tom Cruise
Detroit traffic enforcement
Microsoft
downstairs neighbors
Ashlee Simpson (like you were even on my Christmas card list)
my extra 20 pounds
Waldorf education
MIA
my nephew's mean teacher
oil companies
"Bitch" magazine
"Bust" magazine
Dave Eggers
Whole Foods
Sallie Mae

that's satisfactory for now. look forward to getting (or NOT getting) a picture of me in a girdle and Santa hat. or posing as all three wise men.

god bless,
sarah